There are a million things I can say. I will ramble, I know this. But bear with me readers, as faceless, here, I will reveal everything to you, in the most honest way I can. My life from my point of view.
I suppose I should warn you, readers, that I am very obsessive. I obsess over men, over people, over my job, my life, my anxieties.. I am not here to teach, or to fit myself into the lines of society. If I offend, I'm not sorry, walk away. You choose to read what I write, I choose to give you the gift of full honesty.
That's where I'll start I guess. Honesty.
Hm, see, to me.. Honesty isn't simple. There is never an 'easy, honest answer' if the question is complicated in the least.
Easy question would be: "Do you like this sandwich?"
Yes or no.
Hard Question: "Do you mind me living with you?"
See.. this is where I have my issues. But in order to tell you what I should, I should give you some background. SO. Here's the detail...
So my life seems to have started at the end of 2009. Nothing of much consequence ever seems to happen to me, but perhaps it's because my life has such dramatic moments, I tend to forget the rest. My father died, when I was younger. My mother had breast cancer. My mother lost her high power corporate job to the beginning of the 2000's, and then threw herself wholeheartedly into my fathers miserably failing excuse for a jewelery repair shop. Don't get me wrong, if done the right way, we would've been rich. My father wasn't the right way kind of guy though. He smoked cigarettes, drank Jack Daniels, shared this with his 7 year old daughter and let every slimy footed asshole walk right over him as if he didn't exist, right up until he really didn't anymore.
He was a good man. A great father. I don't know that the world had any more place for a man like him though. Good men die quickly.
Anyway.. fast forward a little ways... to November of 2009.
I, at the time, was attending TCC. I skipped most of my classes and passed by the skin of my ass, but I had made a great deal of friends I just hung out with all day. They were Anime nerds, the kind of small group you'll see in college, in public, the awkward crowd. The token asian, for the lucky groups, a large gaggle of pale unfortunate skinned obese and/or scary looking girls who giggle shrilly and put all of their lost popularity sourness into obsession over pointless things, (See- The workings of every shojo, every yaoi, every shota ever made. Twilight. Inuyasha. Bleach.) and a variety of either gangly, awkward equally nerdy skinny dudes or Aspergers stricken, usually scarily morbidly obese smelly men, both of whom are insistent, loud, stubborn, and easy to immagine dead between your fingers so they JUST. MIGHT. STOP. TALKING. I don't care about YuGiOh anymore guys. I'm female, nineteen, and have no respect for people who refuse to acknowledge the existence of anything other than poorly scripted foreign cartoons. (Not wholly knocking YuGiOh though. Fond memories.) I can't say I didn't fit in with them at one time. Being pale, young, large and loud, I was perfect at first. But when one moves past virginity, one begins to realize that, once exposed to actual person on person sex, most of these people will never want to see one another again, and will go on to find more natural, healthy relationships.... in a perfect world. In reality, a large amount of them will be friends for life, and become true social outcasts for the sheer level of annoyingness they bring to every table.
I suppose I fit into my perfect world. I never did like being part of the 'unpopular' crowd. I was always bitter...
Back to the story at hand.
So in this strange, bi-horribly-curious cesspool of anime squirmies, did I meet a man named John. He was tall, ginger,quiet, handsome, and sweet. I fell instantly head over heels, as I tend to, especially for the ginger men. We flirted, and it was soon that I realized he had an issue with my weight. At the time I was a generous 250, and perhaps only 5'5'', and we can all assume I was still in highschool mode.. I latched to him for a long while. Then, in November of 2009, perhaps four months after I'd met the "deep", and really just emo, John, did I meet my real kryptonite... for my purposes, his name is Kai. He was handsome, asian, intelligent, funny, older (24), and, sadly, what really got me, was that he was ACTUALLY into me. Thus begins only the beginning of a yearlong saga, in which best friends are worst enemies, and cheating is conditional..
If you care, you'll await the next update. As it is, I'm too tired to keep writing.
-love-
Sweets<3
